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It Takes All KindsWe've met a lot of people in quiz bowl, but not all of the acquaintances we've made have led to enduring friendships. Let's face it: some people are just weird.
The Good"_________ is my biological father." David's frequent comment concerning guys he thinks are really cool. B.A. Baracus, Wesley Snipes and Kurt Cobain have all been referred to as such. It's worth noting that Joe has had the distinction more than once. Bartacus; O Captain, My Captain; Barksdale Holmes Taylor III Names to which team captain Bart Taylor responds. The first is a play on the name of the Roman gladiator Spartacus. The second is the title of a Walt Whitman poem about Abraham Lincoln. The third is what's actually listed on Bart's birth certificate. Jesus No, not the Son of God, although we're a big fan of His. Instead, this is what we used to secretly call Ryan Culpepper, captain of the Fountain Lake team, because of his uncanny resemblance to every painting ever done of our Lord and Savior. Joe finally told Ryan, who was somewhat flattered but insisted that there was another player on their team who looked even more like the Messiah. Joe Pat AlBurt David's pet name for Joe, whose given name is Joseph Patrick Allen Burton. It's a lot more effective when you think of Fat Albert cartoons and say, "Hey, hey, hey! It's Joe Pat Alburt!" Jones, Larry: AKA Challenger of All Things Coach of the Fort Smith-Northside team. We used to think Larry was way too anal about quiz bowl because he would challenge any and everything, regardless of how badly his team was beating you. Now we like him. He grows on you. Tran, Cecilia Captain of the Fort Smith-Northside team. Cecilia is one of the best high school players in the nation, and we're in awe of her. (She was named Arkansas' Most Valuable Player at the state finals.) She's also cute, kind and funny. Allyn has affectionately dubbed Cecilia the Patron Saint of Quiz Bowl.
The BadFauvist French word meaning "wild beast" used to describe members of the art movement to which Henry Matisse belonged. We use the term to describe those of our peers who are, well, wild beasts. Runner Up The second-nerdiest person we met at Nationals in Chicago. Testosterone Johnny Captain of the Woodham, Florida, team who couldn't believe it when we, backwater hicks from Arkansas, beat him at Nationals. He got so mad that he threw his pencil. Threw his pencil! Johnny, a small bald guy who was taking quiz bowl way too seriously, has apparently taken an excessive amount of academic steroids. Tim the Large Chaskan Homo Player we competed against at Nationals who was (1) named Tim; (2) extremely obese; (3) from Chaska,; and (4) a raging homosexual. Winner The nerdiest person we saw at Nationals. We're still analyzing the data we gathered that garnered him this distinction. There was a lot of competition, though. A lot.
The OtherA-Team, The (1) Term applied to the “first-string” by schools with more than one competitive team. We consider it unethical to label your better team as your B team, as teams are often pitted against each other based on perceived ability. (2) Television series from the early 80’s. David Jones has created innumerable A-Team themed 60-second rounds which are of no real value but are enjoyed nonetheless. At the University of Arkansas tournament, each team member adopted a character from the series as an alias and demanded to be called by said monikers. It didn’t help our performance.
Beatles, The; Joan of Arc Two topics with which Allyn is obsessed. The irony is that she's never answered a question about either because someone else always beats her to the buzzer. She generally starts sputtering and looks as though she's going into cardiac arrest. (At left: Allyn with the Chicago skyline and all its smog in the background.)
character density The number of very weird people in a given group. The quotient was especially high on our team until we went to a national tournament where, according to David, "it was so high you could barely move in the room." panhandlers What Ms. Roberts accused Bart and Joe of being because of the method they employed on numerous quiz bowl trips whereby they acquired monetary funds for their meals. The first time was an honest mistake: they forgot their wallets and asked other team members for spare change, eventually collecting enough for seven cheeseburgers at McDonalds. The second time they simply didn’t want to spend their own money on a hotel’s $7.95 breakfast buffet, even though they really wanted to eat. They managed to collect enough for both buffets, thanks to the generosity of their classmates and a few random strangers. Queen, The Title by which Ms. Roberts prefers to be called for no apparent reason. The team, however, hasn't accommodated her with any regularity. When Bart Taylor ripped his knee to shreds during planting season, he recalled her having warned him that 15,000 minors are injured in farm-related accidents every year. He later wrote, "It is 100% without a doubt truly certain that you are the one and only queen." Ms. Roberts was immensely pleased. Reivers, The Title of the novel for which William Faulkner won his second Pulitzer Prize in 1962, the term is another word for "thieves." We became full-fledged reivers in our own right. By years' end, we had stolen the following things:
Slash Guitarist for the 80’s band Guns ‘n’ Roses. Bart Taylor did a hilarious imitation of him on the way home from a tournament, complete with wig and facial contortions and sans shirt. |
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The Bald Knob High School Quiz Bowl
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about the quiz bowl team itself should be directed to Bradi
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